March 12, 2020

Why self love matters

Posted in: Pacific Northwest Boudoir

Las Vegas, Nevada Boudoir Photographer

Las Vegas Boudoir Photographers, Las Vegas Boudoir Photography, self love

Loving yourself matters

Self love, we all try to achieve it. But when ugly negative thoughts get so much attention when it comes to trying to lover yourself and your body.  Because they are the biggest double edged sword our minds have to deal with.

One one hand, our minds are constantly blasted with negativity.  Why don’t you look like her?  Why can’t you be more like them?

But on the other hand, we weren’t designed to be anyone else but ourselves.

So when our mind does get an onslaught of negative body and self hating thoughts (usually from media or when we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others), our body handles this by becoming stressed.  Which upsets the body’s hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system.

And you know for a fact in this time right now, none of us can afford a weakened immune system.

So instead of releasing healthy endorphins, which is what positive thoughts and self/body love and acceptance does.  Negative thoughts start to lead us down a messy road.

This is why you can expect to make the biggest dent in your body acceptance journey by learning to control those negative voices that keep telling you that your’e just not quite good enough.

You might be thinking well that’s great and all but how do I control my negativity towards myself and my body?

Here’s a few things to practice that won’t make an immediate change overnight.  But if you stay consistent with them they can lead you in the right direction.

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Recognize and Step Back

Recognize and step back from the negative thought patterns.

These are repetitive, unhelpful thoughts.  They directly cause a negative emotion.

One way we can learn to recognize these patterns is to step back from them.  In this way we can start to see the thoughts in our head as only thoughts, not reality.  When we have constant thoughts, we begin at an early age to take them very seriously.  When we learn to step back from our thoughts, we start to see that we can hold them lightly, sit with them for a moment, and then let them go.

Get Unstuck on negativity, stuck on self love

If you feel trapped in negative thought cycles you may feel like you’re constantly pushing them away.  Only to have the negativity bounce right back.  Trying to struggle with these thoughts just pours more gasoline on the fire

Something you can do here is to label it.  When a negative thought pops in your mind, you need to label the story.

For example, if you constantly think that you are not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not muscular enough, just not enough.  Then you could label this as the “Who do you think you are” story and tell yourself oh the “Who do you think you are” story is back again.  Then you can see it as a thing in your mind, grab onto it, and let it go.  Sometimes we have to recognize our thoughts and our emotions for us to realize that they are not real.  You’ll start to see these “stories” as just that.  Stories that are made up about you and not real.

Get Busy and get your mind on self love

Once you’ve labeled your thought story, grabbed onto it and let it go, try getting busy.  This will will take your mind of any negative thoughts that are trying to creep back in.  Do something that you love and that makes you feel happy and good about yourself.  Get those endorphins flowing.  Go for a walk with your dog, listen to and dance to your favorite music in your living room, clean your house (I know there’s some people out there who enjoy doing this!), read a book, sit down and write that novel you’ve been thinking about.  Do something to take your mind off the negativity in a positive way. All of these things get those endorphins flowing and help generate more self love.
So, first notice that the emphasis is not on just telling these thoughts to shut up.  More often than not that just fuels the fire. 

Our brains tend to be resistant to restriction.  So we want to teach our minds to:
1.  Recognize the negative thought
2.  Label it by giving it a “story” name
3.  Recognize the “story” as not real, grab onto it, and let it go
4.  Getting busy can help continue to take your mind off of it

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Love yourself now

On the road to self love

I hope this gives you a better grasp on letting those negative thoughts go.  And start empowering your mind and body with positive.

Have questions or want to continue this conversation?  Email me directly at You can also comment below and keep this conversation going!

Yours in self-love,

P.S.  Can we take this conversation even further?  Join me in my group where i’ll be talking on Monday about this very thing.  I’ll also be rolling out information about my Free Body Love Boot Camp that you’ll want to to be there to learn more about.

If you want to be surrounded by like minded women all seeking ways to love and accept their bodies and themselves, head on over to Exist in Photos.  And I’ll see you in my live video every Monday at 10:00am PST.  Can’t wait to see you!

P.P.S. If you’d like to find out more about why body image is so hard, then check out this blog post I wrote.

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